BabyMania

Okay so if you are a fan of classic rock or even just the beatles you can appreciate this awesome birthday party. I found it on Hostess with the Mostess which is one of my favorite sites. This party would be perfect for a birthday or even a baby shower! Check it out.

http://www.hostessblog.com/2011/03/babymania-beatles-inspired-birthday-pt-1/

THE race

I am trying to decide what big race I want to compete in this year. It gives me a chance to travel and to do something amazing.

My first race was the Big D texas half marathon, my second was the Xterra trail race in san diego. Every race after that has been a mud run. I want to do something great this year.

If you have never done a race you should really consider it. I never thought I would ever do something like a marathon and at the time no one I knew had done or considered one either. That compelled me even more to do a race or something that no one else had done. Let me describe how one of my races went.

Race day in San Diego I lined up with all the other runners. I was in the mountains, my heart was pumping, and my hands were shaking. Was I really fixing to run through mountains through trails when the disclaimer says "we will not be held responsible if attacked by bears, mountain lions, or rattle snakes". Really?? I was scared, but I had done the training, and I flew all that way. The race started and I ran the first four miles on pure adrenaline. Then mile five came this steep hill.. I thought the flyer said flat course? These old people were passing me. Eventually I was dying. My muscle in my legs felt like the were ripping off the bone. There is no way I could have prepared myself for this flat course that were really mountains. Mile 8 I could see no one in front or behind me. A guy asked if I wanted a ride to the finish line. "no I am finishing what I started" I said loudly. Then it started to rain as I was walking through a river. I had an inch of mud on each shoe which made them feel like they weighed ten pounds each. I took my shirt off and started scraping my shoes off with my hands. I had to repeat this routine every 10 minutes. I knew I was last. I called my husband at mile 8.5 balling. I was scared, alone, tired, and every part of my body hurt. He told me to keep going. My knight and shining armor appeared about half a mile from the finish line. He said he loved me and was proud of me. I had just had a baby and had worked so hard towards this goal. I used that last bit of encouragement and crossed the finish line DEAD LAST. I did not care that I was last. I loved the feeling I got crossing the finish line. I did something that I thought I could never do, and even when doing it I thought I might not finish. I still can not remember how much pain I was in, or how long it took me. I do remember the tears I shed, and every emotion I went through that day. I will have those memories forever.

If I can do anything like this after just having a baby I know that everyone I know can do it to.

Official weigh in

Well after my little rant yesterday I sucked it up and walked 5 miles after work. I ate a great healthy dinner and did all of my homework. I had an amazing day. Last night my husband closed at his work and I waited up until midnight for him to get home. He came baring a Dr pepper...my weakness...so at 1 a.m. I was drinking a soda. I knew this would not be good for my weigh in but screw it. I had all ready been disappointed so why not?

I woke up this morning to weigh in a person I am training. (I will not disclose her information until she says I can). She lost 3.4 pounds. I was so proud of her. She has been working so hard and finally the results are coming.

My turn...I get on the scale and it was like the biggest loser. Zero's kept going across the screen until the number popped up. Remember I said 162 was my wall. Well apparently I punched through my wall for a second time. I now weigh 160.8.

I have decided to weigh myself once a week and only once because I am discouraged from my journey when big numbers come up.

Come On...

So I finally did it. I made it down to 157. I remember saying that out loud and the pride I felt. I worked so hard and finally I was seeing the results. That was a month ago. Then I got busy and had less time to focus on me. I started having a cocktail lets just say every night just so I could feel relaxed. I had birthdays, gifts to buy, exams to take...the stress just kept mounting. My mood's have started to change and my lack of motivation was apparent.

I stepped on the scale and all I could yell was "what the hell" as tears streamed down my face. I have been running, doing insanity, eating better and I had not drank in a week. As I stood on the scale 162.4 was the only numbers in the world that could make me want to throw up. That was a wall I had all ready past right??

I texted my best friend because I knew she would make me feel better, and she did. She said do what you always tell me to do. "just keep trying" is a motto I swear I live by. I hate giving up and giving in but when it comes to my body I have never conquered the battle.

I sat on the edge of my bed alone, crying, and feeling ashamed of my body. Then it hit me. Fat is winning the battle, 162.4 is winning the battle, that california club I ate is winning the battle. However; I could win the war. I am going to quit being a baby and crying about a number that currently I can not change and focus on the things that I can do.

I can create motivation. I signed up for a local mudrun.
I can keep going. I have been training and recently ran my best mile ever.
I can treat my body like a temple. Putting things that are healthy in my body.
I can appreciate every curve that I own. I recently did a lingerie photo shoot where I feel like I looked amazing. I still love looking at the pictures. When I do look at them I know that my body all though not perfect is something to be proud of.

I know that if I am having frustrations with weight loss that some of the people that read this do to. Please keep trying. The worst thing that could happen is you fail, but if you keep trying there is always the possibilty that you could succeed.

Update 3/17

Well it has been 9 days since my last post and I am extremely sorry for that. I have been doing a lot of soul searching to discover myself. I started Insanity. I made it through the first 5 days and then my schedule went crazy. 2 days off and I got back on the band wagon until the day before my daughters first birthday. Again with the craziness. Stuffing my face with cake and reese's yesterday (my daughter's birthday), I again did not do insanity. The one thing that I have stayed constant with is my race training. I run/walk every single day. I love the cool breeze against my face, and the calmness of walking in the country. I also take my kids in the wagon sometimes because they love going for walks.

The whole point of this blog is my weight loss journey. Eating has been terrible, but luckily my race training has helped me maintain my weight!

In my soul searching I have discovered so many things about myself. Things I want to change and that starts today.

1. I am a worry bug- I worry about everything. If a friend does not text me back I assume they are mad, actually I always assume one of my friends are mad.

Fixer- I have slowly stopped caring about certain people/friends in my life that do not make me a priority as I do them. Having so many friends is complicated. I have neglected friends that really care about for those who don't care about me at all. I want to surround myself with those that encourage me, make me laugh, make me my best, share secrets, and I want to do the same for those friends.

2. If I died today I honestly do not know if I would go to heaven.

Fixer- I honestly do not know how to fix this. The first step is giving up my doubts, and focus on the great things god has given me. Pray often, and read his word is another way to start. I think this will be a gradual process but it is something that everyone should think about with all the natural tragedies going on.

3. I do not focus on me- Yes I buy myself stuff to feel better, but I do not actually put myself first. I let others dictate my eating habits, and exercise habits.

Fixer- Quit eating out so dang much, cut the television time to the minimum, get off my but and do something. I have all ready started some of these things so I am on the right path

4. Organization-I have what you call a pig pin on my side of the bed. Ray teases me all the time but it is true. I can organize anyone else's stuff but when it comes to my own you can forget about it.

Fixer-I have started cleaning up all my messes TODAY. It will be a few days process, but I am getting there and my room is looking better by the day.

5. Time- I put so many obligations on myself, that I do not realize the time I have to finish them is unrealistic.

Fixer- I am giving up a few things. I have decided what, but of course I have to double check with my beautiful husband! I would like to start dabbling in the culinary department. I love cooking and baking but it is so time consuming. I think in the effort to eat out less I am going to start cooking new stuff. I will keep you posted!

I know this is a long update and if you read it all I LOVE YOU! There will be more tomorrow as I am now back on track.

Okay sorry for the delay in posts but it has been crazy busy these past few days. Where to start?

I promised I would take my measurements and post them...I am currently 159.8 with 150.0 as my ultimate goal. Some people are thinking why 150.0...well maybe because I have never been a small framed person and can not remember the last time I was 150.0 pounds. As for measurements. I got out my tape measure for the body. As I am wrapping it around my leg...SNAP..there goes me tape..looked like I was not going to measure anything. Monday I started INSANITY, and Mud Run Training. My husband finally decided to participate with me and I could not be happier.

Insanity day one/Training- I died. My legs hurt, and my butt throbbed. Was this for real and was I really doing this?? My husband stood beside me and like a champ he kept me going. I really just wanted to do better then him!! I am so glad that I do not smoke because I do not think I could have made it.

Day two- the thought crossed my mind to bail. I really did not want to do the crazy thing I did the day before that made me hurt so bad, but in a good way. But I put my big girl panties on, mustered up some strength, and battled through it with my husband again by my side. I made it down to the last 8 minutes and I could not breath. Those basketball drills killed me as I yelled " I can not do it Shaun T".

I have never made it past day three on insanity. and tomorrow is a rest day for my mud run training. I am trying to pick a marathon that will keep me motivated.

I am also setting up another giveaway. Stay tuned tomorrow for some more results and my weigh in on Friday!

Birthday Idea from REAL PARTIES

This is a super cute idea for a birthday party. Kylie loves this movie and I just might use this idea for her birthday party next year. It is exciting to think that I can take any of her favorite movies, or shows and turn them into this most wonderful party!

http://www.thetomkatstudio.com/real-parties-fabulous-up-inspired-birthday-party-2/

Emma's 1st birthday

SO I am taking my daughter to the Fort Worth Botanic Gardens for her first birthday. We are going to see all the beautiful flowers, picnic, and play frisbee. We of course are going to open gifts and have cake as well. In an effort to still have a birthday party feel I am decorating my area of the park. I am going with a milk and cookies theme from tom Kat studio. Check it out.

http://www.thetomkatstudio.com/sweet-customers-milk-cookies-birthday-party



This is what her cake will look like

Insanity

So I know it is unethical to start something such as a diet on a sunday, but you can choose any day to change your life. I have been avoiding the gym due to the underage meatheads taking all the machines, and the fact that they grunt so loud I can hear them over my music. I am so glad that the place that was a sanctuary to me a month ago is now a place I dread. I have been training outside however since the weather has been beautiful. I must admit my motivation has been lacking lately so I decided to switch things up a bit. Monday I start training someone I love and am very close to for 12 weeks. Tomorrow I am starting insanity in hopes to get some abs. I am picking a race, and a back up race (details on monday) for a little extra motivation, and also something I can train for. I am taking all my measurements tomorrow, and kicking these next two weeks off right...Stay tuned because I am sharing my measurements, and progress starting monday!! Wish me luck!! AND YES I AM TAKING BEFORE AND AFTER PHOTOS

It's okay to be scared

When I started to lose weight I was scared I would never get there. Everything I did was hard. I could not run a mile, because it felt like my legs would give out and my lungs would collapse. I tried Insanity but never made it past the third day because I made all these excuses. Sometimes I would even blame my health on my husband. He did not support me enough, he talked me into eating out or drinking a margarita, he did this and didnt do that. It was easier to do that then blame my weight and health on myself. The truth was I had tons of support. My husband always encourages me to go to the gym, go for a run, and makes sure that I reward myself. ANYTHING I have ever needed he has made sure to get me. I know a real knight and shining armor right!! My friends are also a huge support. I will text them all week long to check on them, as they check on me. We always offer each other advice and encouragement, but really it's just nice to know there is somebody out there struggling like me. Off subject, I have always been scared of what I can accomplish because I am scared to fail. The first step to overcoming that was getting my trainers license. I had to put forth the effort, and do the internship. (my husband helped get me an internship to!). I nailed it. Then I did a little bootcamp and trained my sisters. I was so happy with the results. I did not care if 1,2,or 20 people were working out with me, I just wanted them to see results. When my fall semester started I stopped training and started gaining back my weight. In October I was full on in depressed mode. Scared about out financial situation, my job, and our little family, eating was all I knew to do. In Jan. I decided it was going to be a new and better year. I started working out and eating better, and since the 1st I have lost a little over 11 pounds, but 25 since I started documenting it in November. Lesson= you can not be scared to try because what you could accomplish could be something greater then you expected. I feel great, I look great, and I am just amazed with the fact that with a job, school, two kids, and very busy family schedule I am able to accomplish my dreams!

Weekend+Fun=weightloss failure

Sorry for the delay in posts. This past week I had tests out the fanny, and obligations that took up my ENTIRE day. So this weekend was a blast with a hint of failure. Me and my husband in a quest to do something healthy and outdoors as a family took our kids to the Fort Worth zoo. I walked all day and was pumped that I had burned off some calories. Then we went to Pappasito's. YOu can only guess how that turned out. The night before we had went out to a mexican restuarant with family and I decided to have a few cocktails, after the outing I proceeded to go home and make some of my own cocktails. Saturday night was no different. After a long day I thought I deserved a good drink. Sunday was the same, and Monday when I weighed in I was not shocked to see the results. I had given the big F U to every thing I knew about losing weight that weekend. Well monday started off good, and I was at work most of the day. When I got home my husband and I took our kids for a family walk in the radio flyer and did hill intrevals. Let me tell you my legs were throbbing. Then we decided in an effort to get all of our leftovers out of the house and my rum, me and my family sat all around the table eating leftovers and drinking some sweet summertimes. Now the rum is gone and all that is in the pantry and fridge is healthy eating. I did lose another pound from yesterday though. I hope everyone's weekend turned out better in the weight loss department then mine!! HAVE A GOOD TUESDAY~