Oh my gosh is that Christmas I see..

So being the planner I am I made a complete list of all the Christmas presents I needed to get. I was so proud of my list. It even included stuff for my husband. Tonight I decided that I needed to add it up after talking with my cousin about our lists. It was there I discovered that the cost was double what I had planned which kind of made it feel out of reach. I guess these next two months I have to up my game to make sure I can get everything on my list. Wish me luck!

Hmm

So yesterday was a terrible day for me from the start. Between a misunderstanding/fight with my friends to lousy tippers I ended up having an anxiety attack at which point I was given a anti-anxiety pill. I then went on a mile run and a mile walk with T and then went to the deer lease wear I proceeded to fall asleep. I woke up at 10 this morning having slept more then 12 hours. I did get everything worked out with my friends thank god because we are all going on this amazing hiking trip together! At least I think it will be amazing I have never been. It is now 3:19 and I have barely gotten out of bed. Reality is setting in and it's a but depressing.

We have lived with my in laws for almost a year and have barely managed to save anything. More important things always come up. Kids being sick, car problems, new tires, you name it and it has happened. I have been on pinterest like crazy looking at all this house stuff and it hits me like a punch in the face..."will we ever have our own house?"...I know someday but when? What have I done to help our future? I have not done all the the things I could be doing That's for sure. So I am starting now. I have a savings I am not going to touch for anything. I have food and a full tank of gas and 29.00...I can make it work. I hope I can make it work.

Stepping up my game.

So I have been working out or with 4 girls I work with. They are amazing. Each of us has our own way of inspiring or encouraging another. I feel like I have not put in the effort like the other girls have. So today I woke up in a great mood and decided today would be my "bitch". I danced my butt off while getting ready for work. Work was slow but my favorite manager was working which made for a fun day. After work I had a bowl of soup and me and MB decided to run a 5K while waiting for E and T to get off work. When the girls met up with us we did a quick strength workout and then I ran another mile. Yep that's right...I ran 3 mile today and walked 1.2 miles. Then for dinner me and the hubby decided Chilis sounded great and I actually made good dinner choices. I feel good about today. It's not over yet but there is nothing I would change. Hopefully I can step up my game tomorrow!

Scared of Tomorrow...

This weekend was a total disaster. I wanted to work out. I wanted to try out awesome recipes. I wanted to do good. Reality is....I sucked. I bought, cooked, and ate cookies. I ate fast food, chicken and dumplings, grandy's bisquits, lots of sweet tea, and soda.

Tomorrow morning is my weigh in...I know it will say I gained but I am going to do it anyways. I am going to try and put together an awesome plan for me to stick to this weekend. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Crazy....epic...

The title of this post are only a few words I can use to describe my wonderful life the past few days. Since tomorrow is Friday I thought I would give an update. I got to work out with MB this week which was awesome she did so much more then she thought she could and I was so glad to be apart of her accomplishment and to get a good quick workout in. I made a quesadilla bar one night for dinner and it was fantastic. The whole family loved it. Wednesday turned out to be better then I expected. We took my kids to the pumpkin patch, then went to the deer lease to watch deer and we got to see a buck. Then we went to dinner with MB and J. They came over for a little fire afterwards and we laughed so hard my abs hurt this morning. I seriously have the greatest friends in the world! I also swapped recipes with my now cousin M. I love to cook and new recipes always make me happy. She makes some awesome low calorie dishes and gave great ideas I am going to try out. Today was just flat out hectic. E is cutting the last of her teeth and of course that comes with all the delightful side effects. K had a field trip today so I had to race from work to pick her up and made it at 2:30 on the dot. Then I had tire issues again...I swear I buy a new tire every month on the day I am supposed to go to fort worth. Maybe god is telling me something. So I took E to get some subway, fix my tire, and then came home to run my best mile ever!! I remember when I ran my first mile my best friend T came to run with me after she had all ready ran 11 miles that day in cross country. She always encouraged me and still does from this day. She is so amazing.

Update on the "fit club". I swear we are coming up with a better name. Anyways we are killing it in our mile times. We also planned an amazing hiking trip November 5th. I know now it's opening day but I still have Sunday to hunt! We also have all planned on running the color run which I know I have other people going to run to so let's just say it will be an amazing girls weekend.

Christmas is coming up and I am scrambling to start Saving money. How do I end up with no money right before christmas every year?? Oh yeah...cloths, gas, bills, groceries...I will cheers with my water to put my best saving skills in action.

Marriage wise....we are doing fantastic. Maybe I was just PMS'ing but I feel like we are making an effort to actually speak nicely to each other.

Well goodnight all! Here are some pictures of my loves!

Monday weigh in

So this past week was a little eye opening. I knew I consumed a lot of calories but it was a struggle. This weekend I did pretty great though. I was a little worried about the scale but when I stepped on the scale I was a pound lighter! 7.4 pounds until my shopping trip. I am trying to be happy about my one pound but I am more worried about my marriage. I guess that since my parents divorced at 6 I have been thinking a lot about it. I am also not an over affectionate person. When I am done fighting I don't need a hug and a kiss to make me feel better. My husband likes to have some form of affectionate display. Lately I have felt like a parent and not a fun loving wife. I am the one that regulates. I hate it. I miss me. I miss the girl that was not over consumed with money issues, self issues, kid issues, and now marriage issues. I get so stressed I get snappy and I guess it's at the husband. I also feel he gets snappy with me and I get defensive. I love him so much. Marriage is hard work everyday and I am willing to fight for it. I want us to get "us" back. We need dates and alone time even if it's just a walk. I need to quit with the constant planning of everything because nothing ever goes as planned. I miss the husband and wish he was cuddling here with me right now :/

Saturday fatter day

So Saturday I woke up ready to go to Chico festival. The girls had a blast on the little ferris wheel, bounce house, and obstacle course. Then we went to the deer lease to move the feeders since all the rain put them in about a foot of water. Immediately after I was taking my oldest to her horse lesson. I can not say enough about her instructor. She is amazing with Kylie. She teachs kylie colors and commands all the while teaching her horse safety. After that we took Kylie to get her cowgirls attire. She got a new pair of Justin boots. They are super cute and camo. Then we took her to fosters where she got a cowgirl shirt and a bedazzled camo belt. She was cowgirled out when we met my bestie for dinner. All Kylie wanted to do was show off her new goodies! We had a nice big family dinner at chuys where we had to yell at one another to hear. It's there we decided to take the party home! We went and got some wine and beer, I got to see an old friend, and we trucked it home. The rangers had just started and over the course of all our wine the rangers made some AMAZING plays. I love seeing brittney because she reminds me how simple it can be having a best friend. I can be honest, be myself, and there is never and drama, judgement, and I never feel like I have to compete. It feels easy. We talk almost everyday but when we see eachother we always have something to say.

So as you may gather I ate bad, did not workout, spent lots of money when I should be saving, and I love brittney!!

Today is a whole new healthy day and I have a clean slate so let's see what I do with it!

Getting my game face on

My morning did not start how I wanted it at all and I am FIGHTING the urge to weigh myself. The truth is the weekend is always when I fail myself. I go out to eat, I get lazy, and I am busy. I am going to try and fight through the urge to be bad this weekend. We were supposed to get my husbands knee brace refund last night and sure enough in the account there was no large lump sum of money. I try to remind myself that it's no big deal that I am working today but it is so frustrating. I feel even worse for my husband. He wants to be the hero that makes everything right. I know he thinks I am freaking out and just wants to fix it for me so I don't worry. It's probably best the money is not there because I needed new jeans so this gives me another week or so to focus on working out.

Speaking of working out I am totally rocking it. I have been working out like someone who loves it and I know why! I have these awesome girls I work with that are trying to lose weight or shape up just like me. Everyday we decide on workouts, encourage each other to eat right, ask questions, keep asking if one another did their workout, and communicate like crazy when we want to eat bad. For the first time I have a super supportive group of girls that actually encourage as much as they inspire. We even put together a "club" that gets together once a month and goes and does something fit and healthy. Some of our options are kayaking, rockclimbing, roller skating, healthy restaurants of course, and anything else like Zumba classes. Anyone who knows me knows I am a freak for trying new fun active stuff.

My eating has not been fabulous but I have a new plan of attack starting Monday! Stay tuned for my weigh in and plan!

Here are a few workouts our group has done and don't forget we always add cardio!

Why am I crying...

Sooo I had this huge politics blog written up...it was beautiful. It talked about the occupy movement, my views on Obama, Bush, and our future president. It encouraged people to research before voting. Vote on the issues not on race or religion. Vote for the person you thing will best support this country....blah blah blah...then my computer crashed...It crashed because my husband had to hook up his deer camera...the internet was down so I asked him to fix it...little did I know I would end up in tears because everything is shutting down and my BEAUTIFUL politics blog is gone.....

Moving on....

Getting ready for school

Last night around 11 I thought it would be a great time to email the head lady of the surgical tech program. I got all of my financial aid in order. I just have to redo it next year and hope that it covers the majority of my costs. I am also taking medical terminology and retaking an anatomy class. I am more worried about the test then I am about the classes. I am a terrible test taker. Another thing I am super worried about is my stomach. I have a really weak stomach an I am hoping my interest overcomes my gag reflex.

This morning my foot still hurts like crazy but I am going to suck it up and go to work anyways.

I am also going to put together some tortilla soup tonight after my workout!! Wish me luck!!

I feel a song coming on..

I have know idea how to start this so i will do my best. If you have read my blog at all you know that I started tracking what I eat and working out again. I have all ready gone over day 1-3. Day 4 I worked out and tracked what I ate. Let me remind myself and everyone else that for the first week I just journaled everything I ate. I did not count calories. I want to get into a positive habit and with not tracking the calories the first week I did not hesitate at all to write EVERYTHING down. Day 5 was a super long day at work. I did track what I ate but what I ate was not even close to my calorie range. It was well above it. I also did not work out. I just knew that when I woke up saturday I would start the day off right.

Saturday morning my daughters were in a parade. They were so cute. I had to get up early shower, get the girls ready, and decorate the golf cart. The entire family was at the parade. My mom, stepdad, of course meme, grandpa, babe, pappy, cassie, and us.I also bought the most amazing dress ever! Afterwards the girls and their pappy and aunt cassie went to a family reunion to show off their good looks and greatness while me and ray went to pay a bill, try on boots, look at saddles, and eat. I ate bad of course and by that time I was worn out so I ended up not working out. That night I cuddled on the couch with the girls and watched scooby doo. We ate chips and amazing dip along with Dr peppers and Fish. So saturday was a bust.

Sunday was no better. It was my mommy in laws birthday so we got up and went to church. We shocked her with a little get together of 30+ people at El quapos in Denton. I did not eat terrible but I had my fair share in chips and salsa oh and of course sweet tea. I went to TJ maxx and bought my first future house product...

It is my favorite color in the whole wide world. I also found this amazing chair that I am going to have to get for our office we are setting up. Well lets just say that ice cream scoop brightened my day. Then me and my husband went to the deer stand where we watched all the doe feed. It is amazing no matter how many times I see it.

That brings me to today. The end of week one and beginning of week 2. I weighed in this morning just waiting for the worst numbers ever to appear.....dun dun dun...yeah I am dragging this out....just a little longer....okay I weighed 153.4!! I didn't gain!!!!!! I was naked or I would have jumped in the air. I settled for a loud "hell yeah". I ate well today and tracked all of my calories. I didn't like the numbers but I know I have to do it. I also worked out really hard. In my cardio/strength workout I FORCED myself to do the 3rd set. I knew I would be super dissappointed in myself if I didn't. I then took my daughter for a 1.5 mile walk in her wagon where I proceeded to injure myself. My left foot is extremely sore and it is painful to walk on it at this point. I am keeping my fingers crossed that it will feel better in the morning.

My intimate challenge made it to day 3...what can I say I was really tired!

Okay that is it for the night!! Good night!

This breaks my heart...

I hope I never encourage my young daughters to do this out of concern for their bodies.

Day 2 and Day 3..

I have to admit when I started doing this I did not have a whole lot of confidence in myself. I knew I could do the work but reality set in that I like to be lazy. I like television and my kids love cartoons...how do I lose? Don't get me wrong I am very active with them or am I? I take them to swing, play outside...kinda...Then it hit me..I am never an active participant. I randomly get on the jungle gym with them but I usually sit and watch them play. That is not the type of parent I want to be. So here is cheers to myself (with a glass of water) and everyone else who is looking to be more active with their kids.

Moving on...

Day 2 was perfect...I went to work, me and a friend (have not asked her permission to list her name) went and rocked out the gym with the arm pyramid via Tone It Up, ab machines, and the elliptical. I am still in the writing all my food down stages and next week starts the calorie counting. For the most part I ate really well. I also got my car inspection which was like pulling teeth and when I could have had a margarita I choose water.

Day 3. Me and my husband started the day fighting. We found out that the car we were trying to get approved for did not match our ideal percentage rate. So no new car for us....that alone put a bad taste in my mouth. I got to work and right away one person got under my skin...it was all down hill from there. I was lucky that everyone else I worked with was in a bad mood or had something going on as well (maybe we were syncing up!) so my bitchiness did not stand out but I felt like it did. I got off work and my husband decided he would like to go running with me. I love running with my husband. It's outdoors, we get time to talk, and it is kind of like alone time for us. It put me in a great mood. I did notice that I ate a lot though. None of the items I ate were high in calories I just consumed more food then usual. I also drank a lot more water. I guess I am more of an emotional eater then I thought. After our run we grilled, played outside and I cooked some side dishs. So horrible day to start and delightful day to end.

I still have not weighed myself and I am thinking of only doing it on Monday's. I do not want to discourage myself.

So recap....recording what I eat..GREAT..exercising...FANTASTIC...I could actually dominate my weight loss this time. Instead of trying to lose it fast I am taking it one day at a time. I am paying attention to my body not the scale which is really hard. I know I am doing it right and the fact that I have my best friend yelling DO IT through text, a great friend working out with me, and the support and workout buddy in my husband is amazing. I CAN do this!

Day 1

Yesterday was my day one and all though I had some family things I needed to do it really turned out to be a great day.

I got to see my wonderful sister. I missed her so much while she was gone. I also got to see my mom and stepdad. They all love the kids so much and the kids love seeing them. My daughter cried for an hour after we left.

I started working out yesterday. I did the leg pyramid by Tone It Up and then I ran a mile. It was a slow mile but it was in the heat of the day so I decided it was good enough.

Eating went okay. I started off with a wonderful bowl of honeycombs measured of course. I then had crawfish volcano sushi and a wrap for lunch with a bite of a fish stick. For dinner I had some sweet tea and two tacos (shrimp and crawfish), bites of a burrito, and a hot fudge sundae.

I could not resist the scale this morning I just wanted to see if anything I did yesterday paid off. I stepped on the scale biting my lip.....I lost 1 pound!!! YAY!! I totally fist pumped. I promise I will not weigh again until friday but I am really excited to see the scale move down. (153.8)

Personal life.....we are in the middle of an intimate challenge!!

Last but not least I got to see my daughters first horse riding lesson. I was scared she would lose focus or not pay attention but she was totally into it. She liked the one on one with her wonderful teacher and she is learning safety and getting to ride. I would pay double to see my daughters face light up like that everyday.

All in all yesterday was a great day. Hopefully today works out just as well!!

Relapse....

So I have not blogged since September 7th. So there is a lot to go over.

My 18 month old daughter is BANANA'S....She is in her tantrum stage and everything is the end of the world for her unless I am carrying her. She is lucky she is sooo stinkin cute.

Kylie my 3 almost 4 year old has learned that she can talk back and for the most part she only gets a time out. She picks out her own cloth's but is scared to sleep alone. Sooo she has pushed her way into sleeping in her mommy and daddys bed everynight. It's super fun.....not....she is lucky she is adorable. On a high note she is a really good cuddler!

Finances....Me and the hubster took all of september and documented EVERY penny we spent...including 1.00 on a ballon animal. We also documented how much money I made everyday (I am a waitress and I had never tracked it before) and every other ounce of income we have had coming in. It was amazing the amount of money we spent on going out to eat and random expenses. Granted some were needed like me getting a new pair of glasses and the dog getting it's vaccinations, new tires, oil changes, diapers...you name anything random and I probably bought it in september. That being said, October has not started off great either but now we have the tools and the knowledge to fix it! Wish us luck this month!!

Weight loss....not so much (I am chuckling to myself with embarrassment right now). I did not gain but it feels like I am going to be forever 10 pounds away from my goal. I am an excuse maker and have to admit the excuses are getting the better of me. I had nothing to look forward to, nothing to train for until now (family pictures, new cloths, and an awesome girls maybe couples getaway in Feb). I have discovered I HAVE to have a plan. So here are some rules I made up for myself.

1. Always have my gym bag ready to go.
2. Always have a plan...eating is the most important part of this. I always use a fast meal plan that is so unhealthy for me but if I plan ahead I can make healthy choices.
3. Recruit if I can but do not count on my friends or family helping me through. I have done this in the past and used them not doing the work as my excuse not to do the work.
4. Have fun with it again. I lost 50 and 80 pounds when I was just having a blast with my workouts. 80 pounds with my first daughter was because I wanted to be healthy to have another baby, and 50 now because I want to not only look sexy but feel sexy and I am just not there yet.
5. If you feel it write it. I am such an emotional person and this will help me get out idea's, frustrations, and any other emotion.

That's all I have so far. Tomorrow is day one so wish me luck!!