blah sauce/ day 17 of challenge

I got up this morning just the way I promised myself I would. Positive. My husband let me sleep in which I must say was wonderful. I put some cute curls in my hair and watched some spongebob with my baby girl. I was chipper when I got in the car to go to work. I kept my positive outlook all day at work. I ate well and kept drinking my water. I was sooo proud of myself....until I got the message that my daughters tball had been canceled. I hadn't brought my gym bag because I thought I wouldn't have time to go to the gym. I was mad at myself for not being prepared. I made pretty good money so even when I left work I felt that I had achieved my goal for the day when it came to work. When I got home I jumped out of the car and LEFT my phone there. That's right...I left my phone. My daughter had a friend over for a play date and I immediately jumped in on the action. We played baseball and rode 4 wheelers. I again was reaching my goal of steering away from technology when I was home. I was sweating and starting to get ready to workout when my dear father in law invited us for dinner. I knew that I would not make a good decision wherever we went and like a DA I went anyways. I wont say what I ate but lets just say it did not fall in my 100% category of my goals. If I was keeping score at this point I would be 1/1. Then I got home. I knew that the only thing I had left was to workout. I seriously started. I made it halfway through my first round and said...nope. My legs and arms hurt like something fierce and my body was saying...no was jose. I am making excuses at this point. I could have pushed through, but I didn't. So lets make that one win and two fails. I did manage to put in my advocare order and make a few bucks. I will count that as a win. Now for some cuddle time. Good night all.

Writing down my priorities/goals

Goals are simple. Making them is simple. Implementing them and following through is the hard part. I keep adding to my list of things that I am doing and all I wanted was simple. My ultimate goal was to spend the summer getting the body that I've  always dreamed of, paying off all our debt (with the exception of the car), and saving money to completely pay for my school summer and fall. My goals have not started off great because I included May in that equation. Ray gets paid tomorrow and we will finally be done catching up from our trip to DC. I hate how everything worked out money wise, but I had so much fun in DC and would not change anything. That being said I feel like I have been so busy that my priorities have been in the wrong place.

The lights of my life are K and E. Their smile makes everything seem faded and distant. On my worst day I can come home and hear the girls call my name with excitement...at that very moment my heart melts. They don't care how much money I make right now. They don't care about my personal achievements right now. They don't care about my cloths or if my hair is blonde or brown. All they want is my time. The list in my life should go....Family, work, working out...then all the other random stuff I will call fillers. I know some of my friends will be like "F you, I am no filler", but until you have kids and a man that adores your every move, you will never understand what I mean by that statement. I love my friends I don't want anyone to misconstrue that, but friends should never be at the top of anyone's priority list. Church is entwined in all of my priorities so I don't want anyone trying to throw that in my face. I am really trying to be a better person not just for myself but for K and E.

Where does a person start with goals? For me it is making that list of priorities and going from there.

1. Family- My marriage is better then it has ever been. I used to resent Ray for everything that had gone wrong instead of accepting, learning, and moving on. Until you learn forgiveness you have nothing in your life. You cannot change/control the things that have already happened. What you can do Is change how you react to them and how your future will be effected. If I chose to stay mad at Ray then I chose to be mad??? Who wants to be mad?? My goal with my marriage is to try and remember to forgive the little things because that is exactly what they are...little things. Tomorrow is undetermined and I need to quit living like I know what is going to happen. That's god's job. Another goal is to be less connected. Put my phone up when I get home. My kids deserve all of me. Not part of me. Right now sometimes when they talk I don't hear them. I am missing things. I am missing the most important part of my life due to technology. They are only little like this for a short time. What have I been thinking?? Oh yeah...my friends have been at the top of my list. All they want to do is color, play pretend, watch spongebob, paint nails, and jump on the trampoline with me. Starting tomorrow....When I get home I am disconnecting. Anyone who really needs me knows how to get ahold of me if it is important. When it is bedtime I will respond to texts. My girls deserve all of my time, and so does my amazing husband.

2. Work- I am lucky to have the job I have and I love it. I get off when I need, I have amazing managers that are more like friends (but I still respect them as authoritative figures). I have the opportunity to make insane money if I want. I get to be home with my family at night and I only work part time and make as much as some of my friends working full time. I want to be more appreciative and take the stupid people in stride. For instance people who stiff you on 50.00 tickets. It would be one thing if they vocalized dissatisfaction, but to tell me I did an amazing job and leave me nothing is a slap in the face. Instead of having an immediate rage out...I should ask myself.. Maybe they didn't expect their bill to be that much and they didn't have enough, maybe one person paid and someone else was supposed to leave the tip and didn't, maybe they don't know I make 2.13 an hour and they assume I make minimum wage. Sometimes it is not about my service and I need to not take it personal. It happens.  For every bad tipper I have a good one. Maybe not in the same night, but it all evens out. If I keep a smile on my face and stay positive good things will happen. So that is my goal for work. Be positive.

3. Working out- I have never put 100% ever. I cheat on my diet, make excuses, or just flat out get lazy and quit doing it. I make the mistake on relying on others to help motivate me. I have people that do motivate me but I don't need to base what I do around if they do something or not. If they eat something bad that does not give me the opportunity to do bad. I want to fully focus on my workouts. Go to the gym and out right kill it. I want to commit to short term goals. Day by day. I have been doing the day by day thing and for the past 4 days I have gone to the gym and destroyed my body parts. Tomorrow will be day 5, but my food and thought process will be more deliberate. I have 7 days left on my challenge and it will be the best 7 days ever!

My other goals will stay the same...
-I want to pay off my husbands birthday gift
-I want to save up enough money to pay for my school so I don't have to do payments and make things harder
-I want my Advocare business to turn into something amazing and I want that to happen while I am working on my body just so people can see what the products are capable of.
-I want to find a balance and reconnect with my friends. (I miss my friend TW)
-I want to engrave in my brain that I cannot please everyone, and those that love me will stick around because I am about to do some amazing things.
-I want my bachelors degree. I am never going to win the lottery so I need to make things happen.

Kudos- One of my goals has been to be a better role model. K and E are running their first 5k Saturday and K asked me today if she could get on a plane and do a race like mommy. I am doing my job as a parent if I am motivating her to be healthy and active. K told me today she wants to play sports and E told me she wants to tumble and do cheerleading like on TV. They also started doing horse lessons again. In love with those two little girls and their ambitions and I am so glad they have parents that encourage and love to watch them grow. When they tell me they want to do something I go out of my way to make it happen. I know some say I am spoiling them but I feel like I am giving them the world. I am giving the options to find out what they like and don't like.

So now.....My goal instead of Nike San Francisco....Its Disney Princess where the girls can both run and get medals. It is all about them. Time to do my devotional...Good night!! I will let you know how tomorrow goes :)

YURBUDS product review

When I was at the Nike Georgetown expo I discovered the yurbuds booth. The sad thing is that what drew me to that booth was the color of the headphones. They are my absolute favorite color. The headphones I had were black sony's and I literally had to wear a fleece headband to hold my headphones in while I ran. I didn't NEED new headphones but the bright color made me happy so I gravitated towards them. The sales guy asked if I knew about them and as I said know he asked if I wanted to try the out. WELL OF COURSE!! My inner child was giggling and jumping up and down. When he locked them into my ear I was sold. He didn't have to tell me anymore, but he did of course. Yurbuds lock into your ear so when you run the don't come out, the sound is amazing, and they have 3 options. You can get the generic pair (what I got) that work just like any other headphones. The upgrade from that is buttons on the cord that can change the song and volume. Some versions have the ability to take commands (change song, volume up). It works amazing with smart phones. The best version has all of the above and the cord is unbreakable and NEVER tangles. If it does they replace it for free. The only reason I got the generic was because I don't know how to use the voice command thing on my phone. I have an iphone 4, but if you have a 4s or 5 the upgrade is what you want to go with. These things are seriously AMAZING!!

Holy Mother's day weekend

This weekend was amazing and full of greatness. I got up early Saturday and hit the gym bright and early. I was so proud of myself but I still left the gym without doing squats. The machine was completely empty. I have no idea what was holding me back. I know that I could have done better and that is the part the frustrates me. After the gym time I rushed to get K for her game. She did some awesome until she was hit in the nose. There was blood everywhere, but she was so calm. She cried and she said it hurt a lot. All she wanted was her mommy which made me feel warm and fuzzy. Afterwards I saw my friend Tori that I had not seen since I left the surgical tech program. She looked amazing. We spent the rest of the afternoon together with the girls. When I finally got home I was exhausted and thanking god that K did not have a broken nose. Did I mention I got the most awesome octopus lunch stacker from target??

Sunday I perked right out of bed to get ready for church. K and E surprised me with their gift which was a pink kitchenaid food chopper. It was just what I wanted and had asked for. The sermon at church was amazing and When I got home all I wanted to do was eat and be lazy. Around 6 my husband decided it was time to sand down my dresser project. We decided that we would redo our room and started looking at paint colors. I took all the stuff off the walls, so now it looks big and completely naked. It was a great mothers day overall. Sad I didn't get to see my mom though.

Today was good. I went to work and was lucky to get someone to switch with me so I could leave early. I came home and hit the pavement. It was brutal and hot....but I kept at it. I lifted and killed my arms and knocked out two miles. Then it was time for the girls riding lesson with the beautiful Bella. Now I can barely keep my eyes open. Good times. Exhausted.

Friday Smiday

So after last night I was a bit on the shut down side. I was lucky I woke up to take K to school. I was so exhausted for some reason...maybe it was all that running I did in my dreams. When I dropped her off, I came straight home and cuddled the hubs. An hour later I was abruptly awoken by a ringing telephone. I knew that it was time to get up and get ready, and again I was sooooooooo darn itchy. My MBFF text me and honestly I was just in no mood to text how unpleasant my morning was going. I got to work and was ready to make money. I was out of sorts though and my friends could tell. I really think that me not doing my bible devotion in the morning is making for a rough start. Anyways the shift started smooth and I was getting some good tips. A cook didn't show and the kitchen tickets were 20-30 minutes, but my partner and I seemed pretty good at keeping our tables happy. When we cut everyone we got rocked but that made for a quick ending. I made good with my friends that I had been crappy to earlier in the morning and then left work with a good wad of cash. Have I ever mentioned that I HATE buying gas. It sucks. I made it home just in time to be late for K's T-ball practice. My car started overheating and my thermostat is sticking. Blah Blah Blah....Are we ready for today's positive yet?

While I was at work I got a surprise. One of my friends decided that she was going to join my advocare team. I cant tell you how awesome that is. I am so excited for her and cant wait to do some stuff together. She is going to do amazing and I know she will make some money!

Another one
of my really good friends is not only walking across stage to receive her associates degree, but she found out today that she was accepted into Tarelton. She is so phenomenal and she deserves every positive thing happening to her.

I made some super high goals for myself and I am not quite sure how to implement them but it is game on starting tomorrow...well given that this poison oak is a tad better. I was going to purchase all this new gym swag and decided that I wanted to earn it instead... I will post some pics of my motivation area and my goals when I am done :)

I will say that I am giving myself 12 weeks to hit this goal. They include mind, body, family, and financial goals.

well until tomorrow.

p.s. I tried on the shirt I created for the running team and I am in love. And today was day 10 of the challenge and the last day I had to drink that awful fiber drink!!!

a bit emotional

Seriously I have know idea why I am doing this. Why am I crying? From the moment that I woke up today I knew that this is how I would end up.

Rolling out of bed this morning I was itchy and upset. Who wants a rash all over their neck and back?? Its awful. My workouts have been nonexistent because when I get hot this stupid rash flares up and seems to spread. I started this 24 day challenge with a goal in mind and I am soooo mad that instead of going to the gym, I am staying sedentary. Its causing me to eat....and the foods that I am eating are not ideal for the challenge. I am disgusted and disappointed with myself. I have so many people looking to me for leadership and I cant even hold my sh*t together. When I pulled up to work this morning I saw my friends car. An immediate weight was lifted. I know that she will put a smile on my face with music, dancing, stupid humor, or talks of our venture into cinema. The shift was short lived and I was glad because my neck and chest itched like crazy. The Texas humidity is not helping either. On a positive note the team shirts were in and it put a little happiness into my heart to see them. Everything is coming together with the racing team. All the race coordinators have been contacted and I have been talking on the phone with them. They even want to meet us which I think is amazing. It was just a bright idea between two friends that turned into a way for people to be in a healthy, fun, and positive environment. Did I mention that people have started training and working out to get ready. Anyone who knows me knows that my heart is with my friends and family getting fit. Doing this makes me feel like I am important. On the way home for work it was hard to focus because my spots hurt and itch so bad. I googled this baking soda and vinegar idea and it said it worked but would be painful. I was up for anything at this point. I soaked in a baking soda bath for 30 minutes and then scrubbed this concoction aggressively on every spot. Some areas even bled. Which meant that I was missing my friends walk across that stage. Which brings me to my current state....emotional and crying. I miss my surgical tech friends. I remember the day I said I was not continuing. It was like I could breathe again. I dreaded going to clinical. My favorite part of the day was lunch. It was cool to see stuff but I did not want to be responsible to sterility. If I mess up peoples lives would be at stake. I don't want that kind of pressure. I don't regret quitting. I regret wasting time and not continuing at UNT like I was going to do in the first place. I was looking for a short cut and I found it. Now I am back to taking the long route. It just seems unfair but I know the path that I have picked. I feel selfish because each and every one of those people worked their butts off to be walking across stage. Blood, sweat, and tears LITERALLY went into them graduating tonight. I just wish I was walking with those individuals, but in my given career choice. When I felt those tears creeping up I immediately texted my girls. They knew exactly what to say to make everything right again in my little world. All the work I am doing is for something. I need to remember that. I need to keep my head up and keep working hard. I want to keep my eyes and heart open for opportunity....So I am breathing deep right now, praying, and appreciating my path.

Half marathon training OVER/New beginnings

Well it has been 5 weeks since I posted last...

3 weeks before my training was to end I quit doing my long mile days. I didn't want to take one more step. Training for a half marathon was the most time demanding thing I have ever done. The days that I was supposed to strength train I was super exhausted from the run the day before. I have never been the person to just get up and run 10 miles...Skip to...

Washington DC- The day I got there I cussed out a metro assistant. She was rude and was had no knowledge of how the metro system even worked. I immediately embarrassed myself, but I was so mad I was about to cry. We went to Georgetown to pick up my packet and I was pleasantly surprised to discover there was a huge wall that had all the runners names on it...I eagerly found mine. Seriously it's one of those moments you will never forget. My name was on a wall!! Everything went smooth at packet pickup and I absolutely did some shopping. Don't think for a second I didn't stop at sprinkles cupcakes! Afterwards we went to the hotel and ordered some pizza...WHAT?? We were sooo tired. Our view was amazing. We had the Washington monument and the Washington nationals stadium in our window. Second day we walked the .80 miles to the state capital and from there walked all the way to Arlington cemetery to see the changing of the guards. It was AMAZING. That night we went to a big fancy dinner and prepared to get up early. Saturday my family drove up from Philly. The treated us to a Nationals game (which I admit was fantastic) and Dinner. It was so phenomenal to see my family that I had not seen in 9 years. They were different but exactly the same. It made me realize how much I miss them and want them in my life on a regular basis....THEN....

RACE DAY. We got up super early to get on the Metro. When we got there it was overwhelming seeing all the runners and spectators. There was a good 20,000 people in one area. Ray was so supportive and kept saying how proud he was of me. It made me feel like I could do it. What was even more amazing was all the support I had from my friends. I dedicated each mile to someone special and those people were sure to cheer me on during the race. I even had a few friends use the tracking stuff to see where I was at so they could keep up with me. The race was rough. I had to pee twice which took 30-40 minutes. My hips started hurting and at about mile 7 I had to start stopping about every mile to stretch. It hurt less to run then walk. When I was getting close to the finish line I started to get emotional and the moment I saw ray I lost it. I knew I had done it. I crossed the finish line and received my tiffany necklace from a hunky man in a tuxedo. Ray got me a special finishers shirt which I was immediately in love with. Out of the hundreds of husbands in line...Ray was the first one. He must really love me. After the initial excitement the pain set in. It felt like someone had stabbed me in my spine and walked was excruciating. The rest of the trip was spent resting and we hit up Pain&Gain which I thought was awful.

Choosing to do that half marathon, training, and then accomplishing that goal is indescribable. I am filled with tears of happiness and although it was very hard..I would do it all over again in a heart beat.

When I got back my managers set up a surprise that..if you guessed made me cry you would be right!It was overwhelming to know that I had such an amazing support system and that people actually cared about an accomplishment that meant so much to me.


Some other accomplishments: I started selling advocare and within one pay period I became an advisor. I started the 24 day challenge and me and my group are crushing our goals. I started lifting...oh and I contracted poison oak. Every time my body gets hot everything itches like CRAZY so running and anything high intensity has been out of the question. I would not say contracting poison oak was an accomplishment but it has definitely been eventful.  Oh I cannot forget the sizzle and spice running team. I helped create a running team for chili's Decatur. Researched races, got stuff together, designed shirts, and got sign ups. It is something that is near and dear to my heart and I am so excited to be apart of it.

So now that everyone is caught up it is time to get back to Duck Dynasty :) Did I mention I saw willie at the nationals game!!