Week 2 Day 1

1 week weigh in = -2.8 pounds (that is .8 more than my goal of 2 pounds a week)

Now for the honest part. I ate pizza, chocolate, soup, and had a beer or two with my husband. I also worked out once. I try to moderate the unhealthy food though and instead of drinking a beer every night, I saved it for one night. I also cooked healthy food like asparagus soup.

I am planning a surprise my little pony party for E. We had a 4 day weekend due to "snow" days (more like ice days). Then K got sick, we sat at urgent care, and she has severe strep and is not allowed at school until Friday. Lucky her. I also did the heart hustle at my daughters school to try and earn them these little charms they get to put on necklaces for PE. They really love those charms.

We started Spring Madness with my team this week and so far it has been great. I have girls truly getting out of their comfort zone. It's amazing to see people set these goals and then you see them just attacking. You know they have a future and you know they are going somewhere with what they are doing. There may be an excuse along the way but those are far and few. I also adore the ones that set weight goals. Getting texts about 5 pounds lost or even 1 pound makes me teary eyed. Sometimes it's the 1 pound difference that spirals into something amazing like a 5k or a new pair of jeans. I love helping people reach their goals.

My focus this week is to get in 3/4 workouts, take the gallon challenge everyday, and focus on healthier eating. This week will also be a beer free week! I am excited to see what the results will be from that.

This morning I started reading my "For Women Only" book. I just couldn't stop myself from opening the book that will help me understand my husband more. Transparency? From the issues we have had in the past I have taken on this controlling nature that I can't stand. Relinquishing though is harder because I want to know that everything will be taken care of. I guess at some point I stopped feeling that way and I have consumed and stressed myself. I really am trying to work on his needs. I know I am not the wife that I want to be and my goal is to focus on our relationship. R is my best friend and I would never want him to feel otherwise. I want him to be excited to come home. I am not a "leave it to beaver" kind of wife but I would love smiles on everyone's faces when they come home!

Another thing is my bible study. I want to focus more on that daily and what I get from it. Starting my day off with a little guidance always does wonders for me.

Today's verse is Psalm 28:7...The Lord is my strength and my shield..my hear leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. The daily reflection talks about fitness and moving towards joy. Find something that excites you and makes you happy doing it. If you hate cardio with every fiber of your being...don't do it. You might love swimming. Do swimming. I love running, but I also want to see if there is something out there that overwhelms me with joy. I like riding bikes and oddly I love the stairclimber! I want to try some classes and go from there. Stay tuned for those shenanigans.

Here's some clips from this past week!

Beginning Week 1

This week has been a relief.

It was the first week of my just picking up shifts. That means I am not the first server to work and I am not leaving at 4 or 5 in the afternoon and trying to do all of my errands. It has been beautiful and amazing. I have been able to read, practice yoga, clean, grocery shop in peace, plan a surprise birthday party, go to a ladies event, work on myself, do my bible study, and work on my advocare business.

Let's start with my weight. All in all, I have gained close to 40 pounds. Things happen. I wouldn't call gaining weight back after a huge loss a failure. I would call it a setback. You only fail if you quit and I am no quitter. TRUTH: I LOVE FOOD. I also HATE having a bum hip that takes away the very thing that gave me sanity (running). What does those two things combined mean? It mean's that I am slightly crazy and due to me losing my sanity I emotionally eat. I am not the only one right? The first step to beating your addiction is admitting that you have a problem.

Hi my name is Leanne Hood and I am addicted to food, except anything healthy in nature. It must be fried, sweet, or covered in cheese....okay it can be a processed carb as well.

Now onto the saving myself from complete destruction.

Where to start. Well I knew on my "second time around" journey that I wanted to strengthen my relationship with the man upstairs. I convinced my husband that The Daniel Plan was the best way to do that, so I bought the book, journal, and cookbook. I knew that I there was something inside of me not whole and that is why I struggle the way I do.

I weighed and did my measurements, I set goals for myself (small and large), I set up rewards that were doable for me, and I read my daily reflection.

My Goals.
1. Lose 34 pounds by my 10 year anniversary. (that is 17 weeks with an average of 2 pounds lost a week)

2. Pin gold by my 10 year anniversary (and be knocking on 3-star gold's door). This means that I can be a stay at home mom with absolutely no financial worries. I get to spend the summer with my kids!

3. I want to workout at least 4 times a week and one of those times I want my kids involved. They love yoga so that may be the best way to get a family workout in.

4. Tithe. I had a sermon completely reach my heart 3 weeks ago and we have been tithing ever since. All of our bills have been paid and amazing things keep happening for us. God truly blesses you when you live by his word.

5. Journal and do my bible study every single day.

The Daniel Plan has a score sheet so you can analyze where you are in life and how you feel about those 5 key aspects. My scores were all pretty close except fitness. My biggest passion has now become the thing I am most unhappy about. My focus is now on fitness and my spiritual relationship.

I know in my journey (as before when I quit drinking) that I will lose friends. I am completely and utterly okay with that. That only means that those people will not help me in the direction that I am going, and lets face it...I am going in an amazing direction. (how can I not?)

I already look back and tear up at my day 1 reflection. The question, How do I feel?
I wrote, " I feel out of breath, not pretty and not sexy in anyway shape or form. I feel fat, and depressed because I can't wear any of my beautiful clothes. I feel like I am an awful example to my children.

WOW...
How far I have come in just 5 short days. Now let me flip all of what I had wrote into the positive way I now see things. I gave up focusing on myself to focus on others and my children. They love that I make the lunches, they can count on me to be at school events, that I look for the undies and random toys. E loves that I pick up all of her messes while I am telling her to pick up her mess. K loves that I scratch her back or rub her feet while we sit and all watch Jessie, Girl meets world, or Dual Survival together. My husband thinks I am gorgeous and EVERY stretch mark I own I know was because I was so TERRIFIED of losing K. I know that suffering miscarriages made me hold my tummy while I slept and in my mind made me be completely sedentary while I made the " I am pregnant so I will enjoy all foods" card. I gained 80 pounds of pure warmth and cushion for her to survive. I did, at the time, the only thing I knew to do to keep her safe. I LOVE my stretch marks.  love my eyes because they speak truth. I love my hair because it is thick and strong. I love my legs because all though out of breath I can lift my 70 pound daughter when she is sick or sad and carry her up the stairs to bed. My pretty clothes hanging up are now my inspiration. I have a clean slate to start over.

Things can be ugly, negative and messy if you let it, but you should truly look at all the beautiful things your brain, heart, and body can accomplish or has accomplished.

You can start your journey any day of the week. Mine started on a Wednesday.

Weigh in is in 2 days!!

Parenting

I am sitting here doing research while reading and I have discovered that sometimes what people say they want they don't actually want. They don't have purpose and the purpose they think that have they don't truly have motivation for. I have been there many times. Some people don't want out of their circumstances. They love their lives exactly the way it is and there is nothing about it that they would change. They have reached "life perfection" if you will.

Sadly, I have not reached "perfection" yet. I don't really care what car I drive  (okay maybe I do) or what clothes I wear. I don't care about my shoes (okay I care about my shoes a little bit) or my purse (Is a tote bag considered a purse?). What I do care about is my kids and traveling. I want my kids, husband, and myself to see every part of the world that our hearts desire. I want them to see disney, mountains, oceans, islands, glaciers, and wildlife. I want them to meet people from all walks of life so in their grownup life they are well rounded individuals with open minds. I want them to see all the beauty that god created for them to see. I want to raise them. I don't want daycare's, grandparents, or television raising my children. It's hard researching and seeing how much parents are away from their children. It means they have little impact on how their lives turn out as adults. Literally, parents have everything working against them.

Ideas pressed upon their children by teachers and other children. Drugs, sex, and violence thrust upon every television network. Children developing mommy or daddy issues due to them being absent. It's crazy the little things that have a physiological effect on our children.

Side note: a personal pet peeve of mine is when a parent rants about how they work 80 hours a week, they are asleep before their children wake up, and they don't get home until their kids are asleep....and yet the little time they have on the weekend they spend with their friends out drinking instead of making an impression on the young minds staring at them for acceptance and love. WHY???? Are you friends really that important to you? I get date nights, but every weekend? You are creating a pattern for your children. They need you. Stick around for a little bit and I bet your child can blow your mind with all that they have learned in your absence.

I am completely getting off on a tangent here....

The point is that I have not reached that life perfection that I have been seeking. I haven't become a stay at home mom and I haven't traveled the world with my family, but I can proudly say I am closer than I was a year ago, a month ago, or even a day ago. I am constantly moving forward, researching, and developing ideas.

The question I ask to others are...Are you happy? Are you stuck or pressing forward? Are you getting to be the person or the parent you always thought you would be? Are you achieving/reaching your purpose?

The Real Reason

Two years ago my marriage and life was falling apart. The only thing I could possibly control was my body. I knew that I had pushed myself before and I knew I could do it again. In this determination to brutalize myself, I got down to my lowest weight ever in the history of my memory. Yes, I know at some point I was a size 8 in high school, but I can't even remember where I put my car keys 20 minutes ago so just go with me on this.

I started going to marriage counseling and focusing on what was wrong internally with me. What on earth does that mean? It means I quit working out after my half marathon. My hip was shot, I was exhausted, and honestly I just love food that is really terrible to/for the human body.

Gradually, I became happier. I was laughing, not drinking, playing with my kids, planning vacations, and I was kicking "the struggle's" BUTT. The friends worth having absolutely stuck by my side and never let me feel that my decision to become "a whole person" was an inconvenience to them.

Here's the tough part....

In that quest to become whole I ate a TON of amazing food. I mean smothered in butter and spices. Cajun food. Tex-Mex food. Burgers. Pizza. New restaurants. Old restaurants. It didn't matter, if there was food than I was there. If you have kept up with my story you have now discovered that not only did I quit my quest for 6pack abs but I also put on a few pounds. 34.6 to be exact. I would love to say it is not all my fault because I had some hormone issues and vitamin issues, but I knew that the bulk of my weight gain was all me. I decide.

So what now? Where do I go from here? How do I start again? Well the husband and I are on a mission. That is another post, but I got back on the supplements that were made to help me achieve my goals. I started researching. I started preparing.

So now that you know the reason that I have to start completely over, are you ready to hear and see the answer to my problem?