Why do you do it?

I was asked a question today that truly startled me a bit.

"What have you learned and why do you even do it", said a girl in the most condescending tone. 

I could only laugh while looking at the girl and because I am trying to build my faith I will not comment on her appearance and obvious lack for her own health. 

I have learned more than I can ever convey in one solid post, but I will try. 

It started with the loss of my first "real" pregnancy. A child. A heart that was supposed to beat and didn't. No solid answer so it must have been me right? My weight had to be the issue..I was disgusted with my body. Little did I know that stretch marks and morbid obesity was in my near future. My initial goal was to lose weight and conceive a child. BAM....I child conceived...deep fear instilled. I know it's not scientifically possible to jiggle your unborn child out of you, but I just knew that I would if I did ANY sort of movement of the exercise nature. 80 pounds later a beautiful baby was born. 

Fast forward. I was 240 pounds and carrying a car seat. It winded me with every step. I had a mental breakdown outside of an old navy because I had to purchase the biggest pair of pants they sold and they only had them because an online order was returned. The thought of running or walking outside for people to see disgusted me. I could only think of my fat jiggling everywhere for everyone to point at and laugh at. My husband being a super sweet man bought me a treadmill for me to "start" my weight loss journey. Have I mentioned stretch marks? They were everywhere. I am pretty sure I have some between my toes.  Running, at home videos, lack of sleep, and breastfeeding got me down to a less flabby 160. 

I am guessing you know what happens next. If you are thinking that I peed on a stick and there were two pink lines... you would be correct. Number 2 was on its way. This time I was more active and tried to eat better. I only gained 45 pounds. 

fast forward. fast forward. fast forward. 

Two gorgeous girls. 2 half marathons. 1 triathlon. 87 (I am just guessing) 5k's and I was at 160 pounds again and wanting desperately to lose the "last 10 pounds". 

I have been through marriage issues, body issues, faith issues, food issues, and friend issues. 

This is what I have learned. 

You have to have control over yourself. You can't control Becky and Jesse (I may be watching full house) across the street. When starting your journey you have to get your mind right and make a decision. My decision was building the strength of my family and myself. I wanted to build my faith with my lord and savior. I wanted to show my girls what a strong woman looked like. I have battles everyday. Do you know how hard it is not to graze when you work at chili's? 

But the best tip of all........

Surround yourself with people that are going in the direction that you are going. If you want to be more Christ like, surround yourself with people that you admire in that aspect. Don't associate with people that make you feel less than amazing. I have had those friends that didn't influence me in a positive way. I have had friends that treated me like dirt. I have had friends that used me. 

I am so lucky to have the most amazing circle right now. My husband, family, kids, and friends are all extremely supportive of EVERY decision I make. 

The journey that I am on right now is one of self discovery. I am finding out what my purpose is in life and why god put me on this earth. I am also being the best mom, wife, and friend I can be.

Why do I do it? I want to inspire and help anyone and everyone that needs and wants it. I want people to know that there is someone else out there on this messy ride of life. I want people to know that it is okay to shake things up, find new friends, and discover one's self. 

I can't wait to share all of this current path that I am on. 

STAY TUNED!