A very short time ago I made a decision in my marriage. It was hard. I knew if I stayed and dealt with the troubles I had always dealt with that I would eventually be broken down. What kind of mom could I possibly be if everyday my kids saw their mommy dealing with the constant bull shit that had been feed to her. I needed to be strong when I was dying inside. Separation is a huge word. It means the life as a married couple is spliting. Kids, bills, furniture....everything. I was not ready for the kind of separation but I knew for things to get better I had to step back. I was so lucky that me even saying that is what I wanted immediately started to change my life. I was sooooo lucky to have a few VERY supportive friends and family that rallied behind me. Many nights talking, I changed my mind every single day what I really wanted. I have all ready mentioned that I am an emotional eater so you can only imagine the havoc I created on my body. This weekend Me and R attended Marriage On The Rock. It was amazing. Every word at this seminar spoke to us. We held hands, got lost, laughed, kissed, experienced a completely new place, and had some alone time that we had so very much needed. I bought some jeans, we ate at new places, and I got to jump on the bed like a little kid. Friday night was the end of that nasty little S word (separation). Being focused on restoring my marriage has been fun.
Now its time to restore my body. Every choice I make is important. Its valentines day so the candy I have consumed has been astronomical. Tomorrow is a new day. I am praying for a balanced and productive day.
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