Motivation

So I took a break from blogging. I have had some issues with motivation and just didn't know how to deal with it. I have also been having personal struggles that I needed to sort out and it has messed with my head. I have to admit I have turned to food.

At first I felt like I was being punished. When I prayed I sobbed asking what I could do to correct the wrong. My faith was being shaken at its core. I then realized I had been through so much worse. I had lost a child, friends, almost my home, and jobs just to name a few.

I do not have an ideal situation. I live with my in laws, have two kids,I am a waitress, and I have had no idea what to do with my life.

What I do have is a roof, a car that gets me to work and back and is paid for and is safe for my kids, I have a job, my husband has a job, I have two beautiful kids, the greatest friends, and an amazing husband, not to mention a wonderful family.

So why have I been so down lately? Yes I have tons of money issues but I have to remember that millions of people do.

There are so many things that I can not control but my body and what I choose to do with it is not one of them. I have abused my body. I have said it a million times but as i am typing this the abuse stops now.

I am starting a whole new lifestyle and since I am starting from scratch I am also taking my responsibility for our financial situation. No more buying my daughters a barbie every time we go to walmart, going out to eat more then we should (which we had all ready cut back since our daughter is terrible in restaurants), no more buying an outfit at any place just because I have a coupon. My kids have TONS of cloths.

Here is the plan.

I am going to start calorie counting again and going to the gym. On the days I don't go to the gym it's mandatory cleaning for me and if that is not enough I have a treadmill at home. I want to find a half marathon to do and start training. My body is a temple and it's time I start treating it that way.

I am also going to start saving 10% of everything we make and when we need things like a new tire or pair of glasses I am going to have to work extra for that. We will come up with a reasonable budget and a meal/grocery list so we can eliminate random spending. My daughters will learn how to save for what they want so if the want things they will have to help do things like wash the dog, pick up there room, cook dinner, and by they I mean Kylie since Emma is a little young to understand or help.

That is the plan and I am sure it will be tweaked but at least there is an initiative to make things better.

At what cost....

I have had some serious issues with my friends lately. I am a person that worries, says yes when I mean no, and let people's emotions persuade me into doing things I do not want to do. Not serious things of course but things like going out when I should stay home, spending money when I really do not have any, and basically my some of my friends feel as if I should pay more attention to them then I do my family.

Let me start by saying NO ONE is as important as my family no matter what the occasion. I do not care how long it has been planned and I knew about it. In trying to do the right thing my friends decide that they will guilt me into doing what they want.

Guess what....not anymore..these past few weeks I have managed to lose a few friends and I am perfectly fine with that and I have a feeling that I am fixing to lose a few more and I am actually gleefully excited about that as well.

My goals are to buy land and build a house. Give my children everything they want, and save for our future. I can not do that if I am constantly spending money on other people. My real friends can accept the new friendship terms or find a different friend to push around.

These past two days in making all these decisions I have never been happier.

Things are about to change.

Caveman Crawl 2011

The caveman crawl was a flipping blast this year. Some of my best friends participated in it with me including my husband!! The course was the HARDEST course I have come across to date. Here are a few fun pictures!

Never again.

I told myself when I started this blog that I was going to be honest with myself. I didn't care if people read it, followed it, or even cared. This was for me. If I could help one person I wanted it to be me.

I have missed a few weigh ins and anyone that knows me knows that I have not been living up to my potential.

This morning as I stepped on the scale and saw the numbers flash before my eyes I shed a few tears. I worked so hard to lose weight and here I was gaining it back. I looked in the mirror and felt disgusted. How could I let this happen? I talk about it and people that are bigger then me just laugh...how could I have such a body issue? I just want to give a BIG F U to anyone that things that their weight issues are bigger or better then mine. EVERYONE has body issues and no matter how little or small they are still issues. I have come such a long way and being so close to my ultimate goal I am letting myself go into fear. When I was 240 pounds I thought that was the worst I would ever feel. I could not by cloths, my skin had a weird rash, I had stretch marks every where. How could I play with my daughter when I got winded just walking? I made the choice to lose weight and I did. Why am I stopping 10 pounds shy?

Then I remembered I am a personal trainer. If I spent half as much time worrying about myself as I do others I would have a flipping six pack. So guess what....that is what I am doing. I am doing ME for a change. I am going to rock my body the best way I know how. I am going to feed it the best food and train it the best way I know how.

This morning I was 157.8...I will never be that again.

Quit being so Negative..

So as promised I did the 2 day cleanse of my diet...I amazingly dropped 2.6 pounds easy. I felt great, had energy, and did not feel deprived in any way...

These past two weeks have been pure hell for me...I was in a automobile accident, had my college dreams crushed, failed a secret shop at my store, my rent house airconditioner went out, I had a huge bank issue and had to take out a loan, and my husband broke his toe. That is a lot to deal with in a short amount of time.

Here is what happened. I kept dwelling on all the bad that was happening and when I sat down to write this all I could think of was how I am the world's most negative person. Maybe I made my own fate. I am a wait for the other shoe to drop kind of person.

I am the same way with my weightloss. I don't expect it to be easy but I kind of treat the process that way. I get lazy and just flat out do not want to do the work. I know so many people that are just like me in everyway.

I am going to try and be more positive, but i know it will not be that easy. I need to dedicate myself to being the person I want to be and doing the things I want to do. My next official weigh in is going to be friday. Stay tuned. Starting tomorrow I am going to start logging everyday my eating habits, and working out stuff. I am also going to start wearing my pedometer at work so I know how far I walk everyday and will log that, and my measurements. I am not going to display my before pictures until I have my afters so I will not feel so ashamed!! Good weight loss luck everyone!

Look Better Naked

Starting Look Better Naked Plan 6/27

Day 1 is the beginning of a 2 day cleanse. I will post my weight before and after the two days and post the cleanse as well!!

Weigh in 6/24/ Plans....

So I did not weigh in...sorry...I know some of you are frowning right now and giving me sass in your head but it was my anniversary. I am starting my look better naked plan and I will give every person that leaves me motivation a 10.00 if I do not follow it!! I know it's not a lot but I have a feeling with money on the table I will start getting emails and texts with all the support I can handle.

On a lighter note I have been reviewing my school plans and doing homework on something that I have had my eye on for a while.

Stroller strides....

I remember when I was pregnant I wanted to stay in shape so bad. I wanted the support of other fit mama's but it was so hard to find. There were not many pre/post natal options in decatur or in denton and I was even willing to pay. So with my first pregnancy I gained 80 and around 50 with my second pregnancy. I bought all the right magazines and video's but it was not the same as interacting with other mommy's. After I had my babies it was an uphill battle. My kids do not like the gym daycare and I am an extreme outdoors person. I love to run and workout outside. It's hard to do with two kids and that is when I discovered Stroller strides. It lets you workout with your babies and helps you interact with other moms. It using learning tools for your children and it just flat out sounded like a good time...to bad there was not one close within a 60 mile radius..

The point of the story is I think I am going to open a stroller strides in Denton or Decatur. I am very undecided which place.

I would love opinions from anyone that is interested!!