Never again.

I told myself when I started this blog that I was going to be honest with myself. I didn't care if people read it, followed it, or even cared. This was for me. If I could help one person I wanted it to be me.

I have missed a few weigh ins and anyone that knows me knows that I have not been living up to my potential.

This morning as I stepped on the scale and saw the numbers flash before my eyes I shed a few tears. I worked so hard to lose weight and here I was gaining it back. I looked in the mirror and felt disgusted. How could I let this happen? I talk about it and people that are bigger then me just laugh...how could I have such a body issue? I just want to give a BIG F U to anyone that things that their weight issues are bigger or better then mine. EVERYONE has body issues and no matter how little or small they are still issues. I have come such a long way and being so close to my ultimate goal I am letting myself go into fear. When I was 240 pounds I thought that was the worst I would ever feel. I could not by cloths, my skin had a weird rash, I had stretch marks every where. How could I play with my daughter when I got winded just walking? I made the choice to lose weight and I did. Why am I stopping 10 pounds shy?

Then I remembered I am a personal trainer. If I spent half as much time worrying about myself as I do others I would have a flipping six pack. So guess what....that is what I am doing. I am doing ME for a change. I am going to rock my body the best way I know how. I am going to feed it the best food and train it the best way I know how.

This morning I was 157.8...I will never be that again.