My summer has officially started and I have managed to not workout and stress about money and school. I have tried to make plans of attack but at every corner I am defeated. I have tried taking different approachs and expect a different outcome and that has not worked. I have lost motivation and for some reason I feel like I am okay with being defeated. Two weeks ago I was raving about starting Insanity and going to college next fall. Until I met with advisors at UNT I thought I had everything figured out but man was I wrong. My choice to do physical therapy was botched when an advisor told me that it was highly unlikely that I would be accepted into a program due to my grades. So I changed back to teaching which is what I originally wanted to do anyways. My though process was that if I do something that i LOVE it will show in my grades and in my personality and a person hiring would see that. Then the advisor told me I would need to change my major. I was not prepared for that at all. I was in love with my major. I was excited about it and soooo looked forward to it. Why were they trying to shatter my dreams? Then I asked my friends what they thought. Being realistic like they are they said the same thing the advisor said. In the end I was unwilling to accept that I was being forced and encouraged to do something that I really didnt want to do and even I was making excuses to be unhappy. After much thought I went with what my heart told me to do. I may be jobless when I graduate but so are thousands of other people. I have to hope that eventually the economy will get better and there will be a need for me somewhere in this world.
As you can tell this alone has made me feel sorry for myself and a little on the depressed side. I hate not having a plan or something that is a for sure thing but I keep telling myself that if I do not try I will never know if I would have succeeded or not.
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