Week 3 & 4

WOW....what an amazing 2 weeks....Where to start...

week 3: since I am a week late I don't really remember a ton. I have been keeping up with my training and we got our income tax back. To celebrate we paid everything off that we possibly could, put a chunk in savings, and bought a few goodies. R got a new watch, K and E got some new running shoes, dresses, and workout cloths (we are promoting exercise of course), and I got an amazing new purse for my carry on...I fell in love with it the moment I saw it and it didn't help that it was on clearance. We kept asking E what she wanted to do for her birthday and all she kept saying was a tinkerbell party. So instead of a family outing we are giving her what she wants. Its going to be small but she is going to love it. I usually go pretty over the top with decorating but I am going to try and keep it under control. I went bathing suit shopping and found my future swim suit. I wanted a few more weeks to hit my final goal and I also wanted to have a reward at the end so I decided against the purchase in hopes of fitting into it like a dream closer to my Washington trip. I am going to post a picture of it but please don't judge my scratched up iphone camera :).

One of the rewards for hitting one of my goals was some new pretty panties from VS and a few new bras. Losing weight effects the boob department! I was so excited when I tried on these adorable bras that I forgot to look at how it looked in the back lol. The cups fit amazing but when I got home and saw my backside in the mirror I felt like I had boobs in the front and in the back. I cried. R was my night in shining armor and took the bras back to VS and explained my dilemma. The manager was amazing and told R that she would hook me up when I came back since my fitting was wrong. He is so amazing right???!! I love that man! Anyways, I later went back and seriously I am sooooo in LOVE with this new fabulous bra. My mom boobs no longer look like mom boobs!!

School stuff has been a little confusing the past few weeks because I am just flat out confused on what to do and what steps to take. I have so many ideas, and things that I want to do that it seems impossible to make the right decision. I am going to sit down and write a list of my dreams and things I want to accomplish and see what comes up. I have prayed about it like crazy. I have been writing my ideas down and sketching them out just to see how far I can go with it. In a nutshell I love learning new things, I want to travel, I love being around my kids, I would love to help or be beneficial to adults and children. I would love to teach health and nutrition, I would love to start a running program for moms and children. I have some weird and crazy ideas and eventually when I am brave I will share!

WEEK 4: In week 4 I developed my hip injury.  Greater trochanteric bursitis. Apparently the bursa between my bone and tendon is inflamed so when my tendon moves across the bursa it is extremely painful. My tendon moves with every step of course so you could imagine how amazing it was to work two straight doubles, do some workouts, and of course run. This Saturday during my long run I think I came into myself. It hurt more to walk then run so I just started pacing and decided that I was not going to stop. I ran 5 miles straight with hills and managed to do it below my previous best. It was an amazing feeling.

I also had a mother/daughter double date with my BFF. It was so much fun ice skating with K and doing a little shopping for E's birthday. I think the Disney store got the best of me. K and I needed this little trip together. She is getting so big and I am just amazed at how smart and beautiful she is. I love watching her do something new because her face lights up when she beats it, accomplishs it, or learns how to do whatever it is she is trying to do.

Side note- I don't talk about religion much but I can honestly say that god has changed my life a lot this past year..

There is so much more that I want to shout from the rooftops but I am super tired!! To be continued.....!!!!

Week 2...I rocked it!

This was week 2 of my half marathon training and I must say I completely rocked it. Being week 2 there was only 7 miles on my schedule but there was 3 workouts. The first workout on my Nike training club was super brutal. It hurt to squat and use the bathroom (in a good way). I am sure I looked funny and got some laughs as a wobbled around for what felt like 2 days. Through the pain though I was beaming with excitement. I have not felt that push or the muscle pain in a long time. My eating was neither here nor there but I weighed this morning in at 149.4.

Valentines week....(Jaws music insert here)...Cupcakes, candy, soda....you name it and I had it...yucky..is how it made me feel afterwards but as I was popping those reeses in my mouth it was pure heaven. Kylie had her party so Wednesday night we were up late baking cupcakes and stuffing bags. It's so crazy to me that she is old enough for me to even have to do these things, but I love doing it for her because she gets so excited making things for her friends. To celebrate valentines day me and the hubs went on a Friday night date. It was random and unplanned but super fun. We tried out roosters roadhouse for the first time and had some redneck sushi. It was delicious, but not as amazing as the burger we had with an over easy egg on it (we split appetizer and burger). Who would have thought? We were going to go see that new die hard movie but instead we decided to go to Barnes and Noble to check into some books I was really interested in. Which reminds me that right now I should be prepping food for the week...oops. Back to the date....I went to AE and found the cutest tops on clearance that are perfect for the summer. I felt great and could not stop smiling. I wasn't stressed about work, my workouts, or money. It was such an amazing feeling. From there we went to starbucks and got some pumpkin bread and my vanilla caramel steamer :). I can honestly say it was the best date I have had in a long time. Saturday was a lazy day..which we needed. Today we got up early and went to Denton recycled books where I found a little Cajun cookbook (can you say treasure!), then we went to the putt putt park. Emma was so cute. She would take her ball and put it about 12 inches from the hole and then try to get it in. We had razoo's for lunch, went flip flop shopping, fixed kylies bike and did some bike riding, rode 4 wheelers, took a nap....It was a super full day and I had tons of fun.

That being said.....today my grandpa has been gone for 9 years. I can honestly say that it does not feel easier. My hero did not get to see me walk across stage at any of my graduations, he never met the man that would be my husband, he never got to meet Kylie and Emma. I think it's not fair that the man that may have been my biggest supporter is not here to celebrate my biggest triumphs with me. It is the first year that I have not drank on this day. I did not know how I would spend this day honestly. Years in the past I would have been drinking all day. I will never forget the good stuff or the bad. He was always watching the cooking and travel channels. Maybe that is where my dreams to travel developed. I remember he had these cards in his desk with dirty jokes on them. I would read them and take them to school to my friends. In retrospect I probably should not have done that or he should have hid them better! He loved carpentry. He made shelves and name plaques. I always thought when I got married I would get a plaque. I remember every morning after I stayed the night I would wake up to breakfast. He would always be sitting there with his bacon and eggs. He listened to me. He loved me. That man was taken way to soon. I am trying so hard to smile but as I write this I can only fight back tears. Please cherish the time you have with your family. 

I have to end on that note. Good night all.

Week 1 of half marathon training.

I started week 1 of the Nike Woman's Half Marathon training program. I have to admit I was pretty excited it mixed running with strength training. It is the perfect plan for me. These past two weeks I have been working like crazy. I went from working like 2 shifts a week to 6-8 shifts. Doubles, weekends, nights, and days. No shift has been an exception. It has made me very tired. I have found that on my strength days I have been coincidently working doubles. So week 1 was solid running for me.

This weekend was a super crazy one. Friday and Saturday we had registered to attend a marriage seminar. We went last year and honestly it probably saved my marriage. I was so excited to go. My husband however was exhausted. Because he failed to request off in time he was forced to open that morning and he already was not feeling well. So Friday night at the seminar he was there but it didn't feel like he was there which upset me. We stayed in a beautiful hotel with an awesome gym and I was more then excited to workout when we got done Friday night. God apparently had other plans. Apparently the Irving area thinks its super awesome to merge two highways into one lane on a Friday night going towards dallas. I am not sure who thought of the that plan but spending more then an hour in traffic for a 15 minute drive is a bit extreme. When we finally got to the hotel I was just exhausted and wanted to go to sleep, after all I had a race in the  morning.

Today (Saturday) I ran the Hot chocolate 5k. Ray still wasn't feeling good and his knee was bothering him so he decided not to participate. Again we had to sit in some INSANE traffic. I have to give it to the husband that his insane driving and cutting people off got me to my race about 2 minutes before my corral closed to start the race. It was an early and super stressful morning. Without the husband I would have never made it to my race. I started running and it was mostly flat course. I just ran and ran. I knew I could for sure make it to two miles but the third for some reason is always tricky for me. When we came to the first steep hill I was thanking god because I knew this is where I would pass most. Greenwood is nothing but hills when I run so I was more then prepared to climb what was Everest to some people. I finished and immediately tears came to my eyes. Not only did I run the entire thing but I knew it was one of my best times ever. Sure enough I finished in 30:50 and my best previous 5k time was 34:16. I got my mug of hot cocoa and goodies and we jetted to get ready for the second day of the seminar. We get back to the hotel and ray still just felt awful. He thought it could be the flu and at that point I was super upset but I didn't want to get any of my friends sick. To say that I spent the day sad, livid, and crying is an understatement. I literally had a melt down in Target. That girl crying in the shoe section.....yeah that was me and it wasn't over shoes. It felt like I was being hit with one thing after another. All I wanted was to go to the seminar. I wanted to have an amazing day with my husband. Maybe get my rewards for hitting my weight goal...but instead I was spending my reward money on R going to Urgent care and paying for his prescription. I couldn't help but be hateful and mean. I was also hungry which didn't help anyone out. So lets just say that my dream weekend with my husband turned into a nightmare and while my friends are out doing their valentines things I am at home laying in bed, watching spongebob with my girls, and typing this post. Dream night right??

On a positive note I did hit my first goal weight...149.2. My minimum is 137 but I want to hit 145 and start toning up. I have my bracelet on that my sister made me with my goal weight. It even glows. It reminds me to make healthy decisions because I am so close. I ALSO GOT MY BRACES OFF!!! YAHOO!!! Well it is time to watch some Dora. Hope everyone has a wonderful night!

Survey "real women have curves"

A while back I conducted a survey about how women felt about their bodies. Just so everyone could see how they measure up and know they are not alone. Thought I should share it again.....Here is the post.

I conducted a survey called "Real women have curves". I asked 10 simple questions that all of 100 ladies answered. Here are some of the findings that I came up with so far. I am not done though!

Things that Women love most about themselves.
27% butt
15% boobs
11% legs
8% arms
8% smile
8% stomach
4% hair
4% face
4% eyes
4% shoulders
4% back
3% height

Things that women hate most about themselves
42% stomach
11% legs
8% stretch marks
8% thighs
8% boobs
4% complexion
4% butt
4% arms
4% calves
4% cellulite
3% ears

And Drumroll......

Here is a healthy weight chart for everyone. The minimum is having a BMI no less then 20. For those who are underweight because they want to be skinny I suggest putting on a few pounds of muscle. NO cheeseburger runs please!! For the record I know due to the survey that some underweight are trying to put on weight by working out and increasing healthy calorie intake. The maximum of course is the maximum not to exceed a BMI of 25.

5"1' 106-132
5"2' 109-137
5"3' 113-141
5"4' 117-146
5"5' 120-150
5"6' 124-155
5"7' 128-160
5"8' 132-164
5"9' 135-169
5"10' 139-174
5"11' 143-179
6"0' 147-184

These weight goals can be found by doing any BMI calculator and also on nutrition.gov and usda.

I am not saying that anyone is overweight or underweight if you do not fall into these numbers. These numbers are what is considered a healthy and optimum weight.

75% of everyone who took the survey said they feel others judge them.
85% of everyone who took the survey said they judge others.
55% of everyone who took the survey said their weight affects their sex life.

90% say they are going to choose healthy eating and exercise to meet their weight goals.

10% say they are choosing programs such as weight watchers in order to stabalize their eating habits.

I will add all the quotes this weekend!!

What is this all about??

"What is this all about" was a question asked to me about my blog. I guess my about me is a bit vague so I will be a little more detailed.

My entire life I have had an issue with my weight and body. I was the tall girl or the "thick" girl. All the guys in my grade were the same size as I was, which can be a bit of a downer when you want to feel guarded and safe. I never wore two piece bathing suits. I didn't wear short shorts or revealing tops. I ALWAYS sucked in. I dated boys way older then me because those were the type that made me feel comfortable with my body. I felt safe. I had friends that in my eyes were track stars, even the other girls that were my size looked amazing and totally rocked their bodies, and then there were those with those crazy six packs. I grew up in a home where healthy eating was not a priority although it should have been given that most of my family is overweight and have serious health issues.

I met my husband working as a "sandwich artist" at subway (you can laugh if you want). He hit on me, and asked me on a date. I stood him up first go around, felt awful, and made it up to him. Did I mention that I lied about my age?? Oh yeah I lied about my age. He was a trooper when I dropped the bomb on him. It was already to late...he loved me :). We dated for about a year and split. It was my senior year and although my heart was broken I had the greatest friends to take up my time. I did what every Sr. girl in high school should do...I got crazy. I didn't care about my body at all. I drank, ate whatever I wanted, didn't focus on school, and I would soon reap what I sowed. My husband (R) and I got back together towards the end of my Sr. year after my grandfather (my hero) passed. Being overweight was just one factor in his passing. He was in a really bad truck accident and developed diabetes. My grandpa was set in his ways. He was strong for as long as he could be mentally but his body just couldn't go on and began to shut down. When he passed my life spun out of control. Family problems happened and I switched schools...just crazy. Again my body was of no concern to me. Alcohol and food numbed me. I went years without facing the fact that I had lost one of the only men in my life that without a doubt loved me unconditionally. No money or strings attached. He wanted the best for me. Let me skip ahead. Me and R eventually tied the knot in 2005. My weight was around 180 and I am 5'7.5. I had 2 miscarriages early on in our relationship...but the part I am getting to changed it all. The bank I worked at was robbed at gunpoint. It was a crazy situation. I had to go to counseling per the company I worked for and things were hectic. R and I had been married for almost 2 years. I realized my boobs hurt like CRAZY...and jokingly a girl said "You must be pregnant". I looked in horror as I started searching for my date book....Crap I was a month late and hadn't even noticed...I went home and took the test. POSITIVE. I cried in shock but was secretly excited. I was young but you know "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage" right? We told our family and celebrated. A few weeks later I started to bleed. A lot. R rushed me to the hospital and it was there we learned our baby was not viable. Although I should have been between 8-12 weeks the baby never developed. I was told to go home, lay in bed, and wait for the baby/tissue to pass. That was a Friday. Saturday R did everything he could to keep me comfortable. All I could do was cry. I blamed it all on myself. What kind of woman was I? So many questions ran through my mind with no answers. The bleeding just proceeded to get worse and by Sunday I was out of my mind. I left my jail cell knowing that the baby that I was carrying was dead. Still bleeding I was taken into surgery that Monday. When I got home everything seemed to be without joy and colorless. I had my follow up appointment and all I could seem to ask was "why"? The doctor said there was no for sure answer but my weight could have been a factor. As the words poured out of Dr. W's mouth I was making the decision to get healthy so I could have my miracle baby. I started running, competed in my first half marathon (which I totally under trained for), did magazine workouts, and got a punching bag and boxing gloves. I was in the best shape I had been in ever. I was taking pregnancy tests like I had stock in the company. I was lucky. On month three I had two pink lines cross my stick. It was so faint R couldn't even see it...but I knew it was there.

At that moment my life stood still. I quit anything remotely close to exercise. I was scared I would jiggle my little yolk out of my tummy...have I mentioned that ray bribed me with ice cream every night? I put on weight...and fast. By my delivery date I had gained a solid 80 pounds. I weighed 240+ pounds. I felt like a house. I had stretch marks on EVERY part of my body. In the moment...I didn't care. My baby was safe and I took my pregnancy full term. That was something to be joyful about. I delivered K via C-section which was brutal on my abdominal muscles. When I got home I dropped to about 197 within a few weeks. YAY for breast feeding!. My weight halted. I cried when I ran outside because I felt everyone was looking at me, and frankly I just didn't know where to start. I left the bank and went back to waitressing, and I started to buy weights and do at home workouts. I got down to 162 when my marriage took a huge hit at the same time I discovered I was pregnant with E. My little world was crumbling and I had no control. I didn't gain as much weight but I didn't focus on what was best for my body. Working as a waitress, trying to support a family, struggling with my marriage, and trying to do school took its toll. I gained another 50 pounds. I delivered C-section again. When I came home I was disgusted at what I had become physically. I had a mental breakdown outside of an Old Navy.  R bought me a treadmill, an Ipod, music, videos...He was more then supportive. I dropped back down to 180 Blah, Blah, Blah....Eventually the financial struggle was more then I could take and R had just started a new job. In efforts to save everyone time and money we moved in with my inlaws. They are amazingly fantastic people. I transferred waitressing jobs and started doing more 5ks, trying new workouts, just enjoying my family, time and money. The weight just started falling off. I got down to 155 and that has been where I have struggled. I have been down to 143 but started the tech program and quickly got back to 155 due to the lack of activity. I am out of the program now and am fighting for the body I want..gradually :)  I am okay knowing I will NEVER wear a two piece, that I have stretch marks everywhere, and that I will never have a sculpted six pack.

I am learning everyday about clean eating, and exercise. This is all about my personal journey everyday. Its all about my finances, my marriage, being a mom, school...you name it and its on here somewhere. Its my daily struggle figuring out who I am. There is so much more to come and I cant wait.

Soooooo....that's my about me for now...

to be continued...!

1/22/-1/24

Jan 22 (Tuesday). I don't really remember much about this day other then me going to work and going on an amazing 2 mile run. The weather was perfect. I didn't have any trouble breathing. I just flat out got out there and destroyed two miles.

Jan 23 (Wednesday). I was off work and not by choice. I decided to use my day to my advantage. I did a tire workout with bands, jump ropes, and a kettlebell. I also went out and ran 3 miles. It was so amazing outside I just wanted to be out there all day. Inspired by the amazing sun I took the girls to the park. We then went to get some groceries, cleaned out daddy's car, and then ate some dinner with daddy. I was exhausted by the end of the day...

Jan 24 (Thursday). I woke up and got ready for work. I have complete goals that I will go into later but I feel as if I am waking up with more ambition and drive. I got off work, and came straight home to run a few miles. I am so proud of myself for running these past few days. I am not known for sticking with anything. I found out I made the Deans list at NCTC and if it was possible it gave me more drive to proceed. It made me smile but sad that I was not in school this semester. I have been working on my taxes and am super disappointed in how things are being done this year. It looks like my stuff will not even be processed until the end of Feb. because I rent. I don't make anything off of it so it looks like I took a loss. I am so confused at this process. Last year it was so easy and now I am hit with all these new rules and regulations and none of the tax forms I need are ready....sooooo crappy. I did manage to throw in a little workout later in the night.

I have some exciting stuff coming up and some stuff I am going to giveaway....I cant tell anyone yet...but again I am SUPER EXCITED :)

Welcome to hell.

This past two weeks has been super brutal. I had one amazing week of workouts and then BAM...stomach virus from hell. It started Monday 1/14. I went to NCTC to drop my surgical tech classes only to discover that in doing so I owe the school money. AWESOME. To celebrate we went to potbelly subs (I am in love with their cookies). Immediately after eating I started to feel very ill. Of course I had to work at 5. I decided to take a nap and sleep off the nausea. When I woke up I still felt like crap but proceeded to work anyways. I ended up being sent home. I spent Tuesday in bed all day. Wednesday I actually felt well enough to work. Got up Thursday for my double and it was GAME OVER..I screamed, cried, prayed, slept in the bathroom floor, I couldn't even :). Exciting changes coming and I cant wait to share them!!