Never again.

I told myself when I started this blog that I was going to be honest with myself. I didn't care if people read it, followed it, or even cared. This was for me. If I could help one person I wanted it to be me.

I have missed a few weigh ins and anyone that knows me knows that I have not been living up to my potential.

This morning as I stepped on the scale and saw the numbers flash before my eyes I shed a few tears. I worked so hard to lose weight and here I was gaining it back. I looked in the mirror and felt disgusted. How could I let this happen? I talk about it and people that are bigger then me just laugh...how could I have such a body issue? I just want to give a BIG F U to anyone that things that their weight issues are bigger or better then mine. EVERYONE has body issues and no matter how little or small they are still issues. I have come such a long way and being so close to my ultimate goal I am letting myself go into fear. When I was 240 pounds I thought that was the worst I would ever feel. I could not by cloths, my skin had a weird rash, I had stretch marks every where. How could I play with my daughter when I got winded just walking? I made the choice to lose weight and I did. Why am I stopping 10 pounds shy?

Then I remembered I am a personal trainer. If I spent half as much time worrying about myself as I do others I would have a flipping six pack. So guess what....that is what I am doing. I am doing ME for a change. I am going to rock my body the best way I know how. I am going to feed it the best food and train it the best way I know how.

This morning I was 157.8...I will never be that again.

Quit being so Negative..

So as promised I did the 2 day cleanse of my diet...I amazingly dropped 2.6 pounds easy. I felt great, had energy, and did not feel deprived in any way...

These past two weeks have been pure hell for me...I was in a automobile accident, had my college dreams crushed, failed a secret shop at my store, my rent house airconditioner went out, I had a huge bank issue and had to take out a loan, and my husband broke his toe. That is a lot to deal with in a short amount of time.

Here is what happened. I kept dwelling on all the bad that was happening and when I sat down to write this all I could think of was how I am the world's most negative person. Maybe I made my own fate. I am a wait for the other shoe to drop kind of person.

I am the same way with my weightloss. I don't expect it to be easy but I kind of treat the process that way. I get lazy and just flat out do not want to do the work. I know so many people that are just like me in everyway.

I am going to try and be more positive, but i know it will not be that easy. I need to dedicate myself to being the person I want to be and doing the things I want to do. My next official weigh in is going to be friday. Stay tuned. Starting tomorrow I am going to start logging everyday my eating habits, and working out stuff. I am also going to start wearing my pedometer at work so I know how far I walk everyday and will log that, and my measurements. I am not going to display my before pictures until I have my afters so I will not feel so ashamed!! Good weight loss luck everyone!

Look Better Naked

Starting Look Better Naked Plan 6/27

Day 1 is the beginning of a 2 day cleanse. I will post my weight before and after the two days and post the cleanse as well!!

Weigh in 6/24/ Plans....

So I did not weigh in...sorry...I know some of you are frowning right now and giving me sass in your head but it was my anniversary. I am starting my look better naked plan and I will give every person that leaves me motivation a 10.00 if I do not follow it!! I know it's not a lot but I have a feeling with money on the table I will start getting emails and texts with all the support I can handle.

On a lighter note I have been reviewing my school plans and doing homework on something that I have had my eye on for a while.

Stroller strides....

I remember when I was pregnant I wanted to stay in shape so bad. I wanted the support of other fit mama's but it was so hard to find. There were not many pre/post natal options in decatur or in denton and I was even willing to pay. So with my first pregnancy I gained 80 and around 50 with my second pregnancy. I bought all the right magazines and video's but it was not the same as interacting with other mommy's. After I had my babies it was an uphill battle. My kids do not like the gym daycare and I am an extreme outdoors person. I love to run and workout outside. It's hard to do with two kids and that is when I discovered Stroller strides. It lets you workout with your babies and helps you interact with other moms. It using learning tools for your children and it just flat out sounded like a good time...to bad there was not one close within a 60 mile radius..

The point of the story is I think I am going to open a stroller strides in Denton or Decatur. I am very undecided which place.

I would love opinions from anyone that is interested!!

Weigh in 6/17....

So I officially did my weigh in on Thursday since I knew having the day off would reek havoc on my weigh in. I bought a new scale and have been very skeptical if the numbers are right because as soon as I got on the scale it popped up 152.6!! In my head I am jumping up and down screaming, singing, and smiling so hard my face hurts. BUT I am wondering if this number is right?? I stepped on and off the scale 6 times and let me tell you 152.6 is what popped up every time.

That means that I am 7.6 pounds from my ultimate goal. Let me remind everyoen including myself that my original goal was 160. 145 in my all time ultimate goal and at the point I just want to tone up and love my body...I can not remember the last time I was this small..maybe when I met my husband when I was 15?? That was 10 years ago...It feels amazing and I want to keep this feeling.

ON another note I am going on my anniversary trip next friday, July I have my FIRST girls weekend getaway, and I start my observation Monday morning.

Despite all my school drama I am really excited about the future. I know that the school year will suck for me because I will not get to see any of my friends but I have to keep the big picture in mind and my true friends will stick around.

What I have been up to...weigh in update.

I did weigh in on Friday and my weight stayed the same..154.4...I am at a loss. I know I do not do the work so I do not deserve to see results. The day I start working hard is the day I will reach my goal...So this week here is my goals..
1.Workout at the gym 3 days
2. Quit drinking cokes
3. NO fried foods
4. Count all my calories and measure what I eat and drink
5. Drink water

I will stick to these for one week so stay tuned for friday's weigh in.

I have also enrolled my daughter's in gymnastics, and swim lessons. The swim lessons are a total workout for me and I love seeing my baby emma progress.

I am posting a few pictures of whats been going on in my life and what has gotten me so busy.

Firefly Race

Me and one of my best friend Brittney did the firefly night run in plano. This was so much fun. The night started with a delicious dinner at maggiano's. We then went to the race 2 hours early to get in line for the packet pick up. After we recieved out stuff it was just a waiting game. Brittney killed me when we started running, she was so fast! I have not ran in like two weeks and I was feeling the burning air in my chest. We finished the race 1497 out of 2396...not to bad...I had a blast and the night ended with some drinks at applebee's. Here are a few pictures~